"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

-Henry David Thoreau

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Growing Boy

 I decided to dress Terran in his Under Armour onesie one last time - at least I assume it won't fit since it is pretty tight today....
As I was taking a pic for Lins (she bought it for him), I remembered I sent her a pic before and wanted to compare. The first was on February 9th, and the second is today, March 27th. About a month and a half. Think he is much bigger??
As I was taking pictures, I couldn't stop because he was just so darn cute. It was first thing in the morning after he ate and got changed. He is usually very talkative, smiley, and active at this time. Check out the blurry legs above. Yeah, he was moving so fast I couldn't get a very still picture. Also, I love the picture of him looking up and to the left. He does this a ton! He always has his wide eyes and is trying to see everything. He particularly likes light fixtures. I think it is because they are dark brown against the tan ceiling. And the next picture I love because you can see the excitement in his face!

I did it!

Boom! Check it out:
After years and years of having long hair, I cut it off! I am donating it to Locks of Love for children and people who have serious illness where they lose their hair and can't afford wigs. I sent Lindsey a picture and she said she has never seen me with this short of hair. As I thought about it, I haven't ever had this short of hair, unless you count infant and toddler-hood! I did an A-line. I don't love the back, so I think I will just grow that out and have it all cut the same length.
I thought I would freak out, but I took it all in stride. It really is nice to have a change. The color is a little off since it is winter and I basically cut off all the blonde. I have been tempted to color it, but summer is coming and it will lighten to that pretty blonde that I love, so I am holding off for now.
The weirdest part of the whole thing is when I go to run my hands through it and it stops like a foot and a half earlier than I am used to! And I love the little nub of a ponytail I have now. :)
I have to add the part when Zach got home. He came in the door and said hi, started playing with Terran a little and talking to me. He didn't notice my hair was gone! I started laughing and he was like "What?" I couldn't stop laughing and he was getting kinda bugged and kept asking what I was laughing at. Finally I said, "my hair!" Then he noticed it was gone. :)

Monday, March 25, 2013

News with our little man

Terran doesn't like to just snuggle into my chest as often. He would rather be looking around...at everything! His head whips around back and forth, back and forth. He used to just snuggle there when I was done burping him, but now he starts kicking and pushing off of me so he can have a better view of the world I guess!

He has also stopped burping as often. I think his system is maturing.

We found out Terran has scoliosis. Not the best news ever. We have an appointment set to see a specialist the end of April, but they did tell me it is a 10 degree curve, which, according to various info online, isn't too extreme. The treatment is basically observation. I also read that in infant boys, they usually grow out of it, so I am hoping that is the case with our little one. As I wondered how this would affect him, I almost immediately thought of sports because I'm thinking he will most likely play something. I have been praying that this will not hinder him in any way. It really stinks that the appointment is that far out, but in a way, since it doesn't seem severe, it has helped me not stress about it too much. Don't get me wrong, I do stress and worry, but as of right now I am able to put it on the back burner until we find out more.

Little Terran is liking the bath more and more! A couple nights ago he was going crazy kicking around. He loves to get those little legs moving. Grandma and Grandpa bought him the cute duck cover-up. I use it to keep him warm during his baths...I am so grateful they got it because previously I had been using washcloths, but it works better and is adorable. :)

Terran is going through all of his 6 month clothes. Hopefully they fit for at least another month or so....I have been thinking that I should have just skipped buying 6 month stuff and went straight to the 9 month-ers.
At his two month checkup, the doctor gave me a nipple shield to try so that we could breastfeed again. It has made it so that I can breastfeed again! Much more convenient than pumping every three hours. He does great at latching on and it helps control the let down. It seems that was the main problem because now he is doing great. He is also a happy baby, and I am sure that is partly why. No more painful gas episodes or waking up screaming. Of course, he does still get gas, it just isn't as big of an ordeal as before.

I have been trying to catch a genuine smile on camera, but he becomes curious the moment I pull out the camera and stops talking and smiling and just stares. The few pictures I have been able to get come from a lot of hard work of talking and trying to get him to smile while holding the camera out of his line of vision...

Tonight when Zach came home, Terran was full of smiles and excited coos. He smiled and talked to Zach for minutes. I just sat back and surveyed the scene in front of me. The two most important people in my life enjoying each others company - it really doesn't get better than that. :)

Sunday, March 17, 2013

A little about the Mrs.

I decided I wanted to write a post more about what I have been thinking and doing lately. I have noticed with the wonderful addition of a child in our lives, my needs and wants are easily pushed to the back burner. Throughout the day I realize this. I will think that I need to go to the bathroom, then two hours later I realize I never got the chance to go. Or I end up not eating when I first notice I am hungry (however, I do focus on getting enough to eat and trying to keep it nutritious for my milk). Having a child that needs a lot of attention (and that gets a lot of attention because he is so darn cute and I can't pull away) has changed my whole life. But, I am still me.
I love exercising and have had to make a few changes there. Our jogging stroller is great, but I hate the running on the track in circles. It doesn't help that our track is 8 laps to a mile instead of 4. It was warm enough to try jogging outside, but I don't think Terran liked it much. Zach got me weights for Christmas, so I do those in our living room some. He also got us a bike trainer, which I busted out for the first time last week. I got a good sweat going - and the itch for a triathlon. I have been discussing it with my dad, and we may be signing up for some in the near future!
I still want to do a marathon, but the thought of training stresses me out with worrying about Terran in a stroller for long periods of time, my milk supply, Zach being out of town, not being ready when race day comes, not wanting to spend that much of my time running when my sweet baby is growing up so fast! I semi-decided to do triathlons instead - I like them better, they are more fun to train for - but I still would love to do a marathon. Especially when I remember how good I felt and ready for the one last year....I guess we will see. As I get the hang of being a mom more, I feel like I can do more, so maybe I still will sign up. Indecisiveness - my curse. :)
I thought this picture helped describe my current life. I was trying out my new trainer when the babe was snoozing. He then decided to wake up, eat, poo, pee on his changing pad and his clothes, and then (an hour later) hang out with me while I finished trying to burn some of the extra calories that are hanging on my sides. The piles of laundry are just a reminder that a mother's work is never finished....Take out the laundry and I really do love my new life!
I have been a little frustrated lately. I feel like I have no talents. When I think about that or talk to people about that, I always get the same answer -  you are athletic, you are organized, you are responsible, etc. Not exactly the kind of talents I am talking about. Plus, I am struggling with those ones as it is! As I mentioned this frustration to my parents, my mom said quite plainly that I should pick a talent that I want to have and work on it. Pretty simple I suppose. I think I have been resisting the effort part of having talents and just wishing I had some. However, since then, I have thought about what talents I want and what it would take to get them. I want:
*to have a beautifully decorated and clean house
*to have a beautiful yard and successful garden
*to be fit
*to be a wonderful mother and wife and have smart children
*to be a great cook
*to play either the piano or guitar
*to be pretty
*to budget better
With the exception of the piano or guitar which would take a bigger commitment than I am currently ready for, I think those goals are all doable. I just need to focus on them.

Another thing I have realized about my current thoughts that I want to change involves comparisons. I think everyone deals with this at some point in their life - mine comes and goes - and it really doesn't do much to bring me more happiness. I want to avoid it all together. I have gotten down on myself lately because I don't feel like I am as stylish as some people, or as crafty, or as thrifty, or as creative, etc. The list goes on. I think I have let it go too far, really. That is why I want to focus on what is important to me and what I control over and just go from there. I don't want to focus on other people's talents, just my own and how I can make myself more of the person I want to be. It is always a good reminder to conciously think about these things and then make changes. The follow through is what I need to do now.

Which, I have decided to make a big change - cut my hair! I always talk about it, year after year, but I haven't really cut it short since my early teens. I finally made the decision. I knew if I did my hair (which I did today for the first time in a while, at least to where it looked good) that I wouldn't want to cut it anymore, and I don't! I really think long hair is so beautiful, but I think that I would take the time to do it more and *hopefully* I will feel more pretty with a change. Plus, I have calculated that it should take about three years to get it back to where it is if I cut it...so I can always grow it back out. The clinching factor in my decision is that I am going to donate it. How can that not be a good reason to chop it off?

I feel so refreshed after getting this all off my chest and I am ready to become a better person now. Yay for writing down your problems to solve them. :)

Two Months

We had Terran's two month checkup on Friday...he is about the size of a six month old!
15 lbs 15.5 oz - 97%
24.75 inches - 97%
41.6 cm (head circumference) - 90%

He got his shots too, which he calmed down from very quickly. However, they warned us he could get fussy or get a fever from them. Later that night he started screaming and wouldn't stop. We figured that was it. Zach ran to the store for some Tylenol while I held and rocked him. He would fall asleep then wake up screaming again. After his medicine, he slept for about three hours in his bouncer. I was gearing up for a long night, but he woke up and seemed fine. I bathed him and put him in his pj's, put him to bed, and he had a normal night. I hate seeing him in pain and was so thankful it didn't last too long!

Speaking of sleeping, he is great. His bedtime is 8:30, give or take a few, and he is always ready. If I lose track of time, he lets me know it is time to start getting ready. A few times I have expected him to stay up later because he had a late nap or ate recently, but he is very consistent even then. He wakes up about 4-6 hours after being put down, and sometimes once more around 5 or so. He gets up around 7:00 every day. It used to be closer to 8:30, but since he started sleeping better it is 7:00. Each morning during his first awake period, he is happy and smiling. He talks to me and is very active, kicking and swinging his arms. It is one of my favorite parts of the day.

I thought/knew it would be very important to have him on a schedule, and it really is! I haven't needed to be all hard core about it either. I suppose he may just be a wonderful baby, but he follows what I want/expect pretty well. He doesn't take as long of naps as I originally planned, but he sleeps so well at night so I figure that is probably why. I try to be flexible with his schedule and pay attention to his needs. He usually doesn't nap the whole hour and a half, but he does have calm time when I plan, and eats when I plan - again give or take a half hour. I believe he has started to understand the schedule and knows when to expect food or take a nap. I love how well we work together! This attempt at scheduling really seems to make him happier because he knows what to expect. Because of this, he doesn't really cry much for those normal things. When he really cries I know there is something else wrong - usually gas or a burp.

This last week I moved all of his 3 month clothes into a box and broke out his 6 months. This is about the size we stopped getting stuff, so I have been clothes shopping for my little guy a few times now. Most noticebly was his pj's - I pulled out a pair that fit him fine last I knew. As I put him in it, his legs stayed completely bent! He couldn't fit! Therefore - new pj's!

Little things about Terran at this stage:
*Likes bath time - he tries to drink the water and kicks his legs and moves his arms.
*Loves the sound of running water - calms him right down.
*Likes his binky for naps or to calm him for a minute before eating, but won't take it otherwise.
*Loves looking at lights.
*Likes new places - he looks all over and around.
*Doesn't love tummy time (neither do I!) but he is pretty strong anyway. He can lift his head and push up some with his arms. When lying on my chest he can lift really well. He also likes to stand for brief seconds when I help him.
*Has started drooling quite a bit.
*Holds my hand while he eats.
*Really warm most of the time - I have to be careful with long sleeve shirts and too-warm of pj's.
*Has a bald ring around his head from looking around on the ground. His baby hair has fallen out a lot on the top and been replaced, but it is hanging on more in the back. His new hair seems brown but individually looks blond, so we are wondering what it will be...
*Has stopped sleeping every time he is in his car seat. Sometimes he just likes to look out the windows. However, if he is tired at all, it is a great way to get him to sleep.
*Likes to attack his bottle or binky. He will move around it a little bit then attack and latch on. It is absolutely hilarious and makes me laugh everytime.
*Still has big toots, but it has gotten better. He makes me laugh when he has big man farts, but I hate it when they hurt his belly.
*Loves his fist, particularly his left. I have even caught him with his thumb in his mouth once or twice. He will suck on his hand over his binky a lot of the time.

Going out with Mommy and Daddy for Valentines.

We made sure to wear green for St. Patty's Day!

Trying to catch one of his smiles!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Figuring things out...finally.

We are starting to figure some stuff out - until it changes again I'm sure! From the very beginning, Terran has amazed many with his gas. As time went on, it began to worry me - it just didn't seem quite normal. I had googled everything. I was off dairy, limiting my veggie intake, avoiding citrus fruits, burping him like crazy (too much really - he started getting ticked when I would interrupt his feeding so often), laying him on his side, etc. Nothing was making a difference. It finally came to a head for me last week.

I was averaging about 3 or 4 hours of sleep and I happened to catch a nasty cold. My candle was burning pretty low. Terran's waking moments were full of discomfort and he stopped having happy active time. He was waking up screaming in the night. As I searched for an answer, I looked further into his symptoms. I concluded it was either go off chocolate or the problem lay within breastfeeding. I had looked into hyperlactation syndrome earlier and bottle fed him my breastmilk a few times, but didn't stick with it. As I read more, I determined it was either hyperlactation or forceful let down. I decided to pump exclusively and see if it made a difference. The change was almost instant! His happy time and happy coos and squeals returned. He went five hours between feedings that first night.

I am not sure how long this will last - the pumping gets tiresome and constantly cleaning all of the parts is driving me nuts. But, the truth is that I am willing to do it as long as I need to to help my baby be happy and comfortable. Although, since I have started this, I have noticed a change in how full my milk makers get. They don't ever reach that uncomfortable stage where they are full, hard, and heavy. Maybe they are regulating and we can revert back to normal breastfeeding. I am hoping to try in the next few days and see how it goes.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Smiles :)

Terran gave me his first real smiles on Monday. He has been smiling off and on, but we could never tell if they were conciously given. Monday morning he was all happy and excited and gave me three open mouthed smiles in a row! So adorable. I haven't been able to get a full blown smile pic, but I did get the tail-end of one. He does it a couple times a day, most predictably in the morning, but he really isn't smiling a ton yet.
We were debating if he needed to be in size 2 diapers yet, and decided no. The next day, I weighed Terran and he was 15.4 pounds - definitely big enough for size 2, 1's only go to 14 pounds! In fact, according to his clothes, 3-6 months is 12.5-15.5 pounds. So it seems that my boy is growing like crazy. Everyone always says that he doesn't look like a 4 week old or 6 week old, etc. I obviously don't know any different, but he definitely is a solid little baby. I love having a hefty guy.

Zach loves being a dad. He gets home from work and wants to see his little boy. I text him pictures in the day, or he asks for them. He told me the other night that he didn't know that he would love being a dad this much. That makes me so happy because some men just don't really care for kids that much. Zach also talks about Terran's brothers and sisters and how when they come they will all tie for being the cutest kid ever, but for now Terran holds the title. I wonder when we will have another?! I love the idea of having them close together so that they can have good relationships and be friends growing up. But just how close? I don't know yet.

Terran has been awake and kicking in his little play gym a lot today. I love watching his little legs kick like crazy. Sometimes he just likes to play, and that is when I hurry up an blog a bit!