"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

-Henry David Thoreau

Saturday, October 31, 2015


This was the best Halloween I have had in years! We did the usual chili cookout and ward trunk or treat. This was a blast because we saw lots of friends and Terran got excited over all of the costumea. The trunk or treat was freezing, but Bridger and him made the rounds like no big deal. Terran's face would light up every time someone dropped a piece of candy in his bucket!
Halloween night we were invited to the Freeman's for soup and bread bowls, then we started trick or treating, leaving Zach at home to pass out candy. Scott came by and walked along with Terran and me. We ended up with Bridger halfway through the neighborhood (he was going to be batman, decided to just be Bridger, then saw Terran's costume and wanted to be a fireman. ..luckily there was an extra costume at the Freeman's so Terran and Bridger were twins!) We trick or treated for over an hour with the boys still going strong. We took one more loop on our side of the street and came upon Zach, who had transformed to a masked man covered in blood with scary sounds and blacklists going! Terran didn't know what to think but soon realized it was his dad and he was skeptical and thought it was funny! Terran got the hang of "Happy Halloween" and "trick or treat" with him and Bridger laughing hard as the yelled Happy Halloween over their shoulders as they left each house. 
We finally got home, ordered pizza, answered the door for more trick or treaters which Terran loved!) and hung out with Scott. The pizza guy was our last doorbell ring and Terran was so disappointed he didn't want candy.
The pure joy and excitement that Terran experienced made me love Halloween again!

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Baby #2 is coming!!

Yep, in June! If you read my blog you are among the lucky few who now know! I have let a few of my neighbors and friends that I see day to day know because they ask or I am feeling rotten enough that I need an excuse! I have been very surprised by the affects from the miscarriage. Although I feel like I dealt with the miscarriage really well, I didn't realize that the next time I got pregnant there would be a constant worry that there won't be a heartbeat or that I would lose this baby too. I have been itching to tell the whole family, but I keep deciding to wait until my appointment next week just to be sure that everything is okay. I had an early appointment right at 6 weeks to just check on everything before the SoJo half marathon. It was so early that there wasn't much to see, but the doctor thought he saw a flicker indicating a heartbeat and reaffirmed that I was good to continue running and it wouldn't hurt the baby. So, I have been waiting for my appointment just after 9 weeks to actually see the heartbeat and let my loved ones know!

Interestingly enough, it was September of last year when we thought we were ready to have another baby. With the miscarriage, Zach travels, and several months of trying it was a year later than we had originally thought. The interesting thing about all of that is as I am pregnant now, it is exactly the timing that I think will be perfect for our family. It reminds me that God sees the big picture and ultimately His plan is the best for us. Although we may have been ready a year ago, I believe that the timing of this baby is even better. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time with Terran and learning more about him as an individual and about myself as a mother. I have been able to invest more in my relationship with Zach and discover more about myself as a person. I have fine tuned my priorities and spent time in new hobbies, as well as rekindled love for old hobbies. I have learned much and grown much and although adding another child can make me nervous some days, I feel like I am armed with more knowledge to make the transition smoothly.

Now, on to the discovery. For about four or five months I had been hoping to be pregnant each time. I had pregnancy tests ready and kept getting negatives. There were a few times those negatives were great disappointments, times where I expected it, and times where I accepted that it was how it was meant to be. This time I thought it was pretty likely I was pregnant, but I tried not to get to caught up in the thought so the disappointment wouldn't be as strong if I wasn't. I had a mental lists of the reasons it would be okay not to be pregnant. But as the days to test go closer, I had a hunch. One day I couldn't wait any longer and just went to take a test while Zach and Terran were playing. I waited until I saw the faint line, then with excitement and glee, I brought it out to the living room. A small giggle escaped my mouth as I walked through the hallway. Zach knew something was up. Again, as with Terran, I told him with a tiny bit of skepticism since the line on the 88 cent test was quite faint. He didn't seem to believe it, but I couldn't let my surety go. The next day he asked if I was going to get another test. I decided to so that he could be sure and as excited as me. So I got one (a more expensive one) the day after that, took it, got another faint line, but a line nonetheless. I showed him and he said "It didn't show me anything I didn't know." He acted like he believed me from the beginning! But at least now I could be excited a jabber about it and it was real! My due date is June 5th and it has been long enough that it all feels new and increases my excitement!

SoJo Half Marathon

I got a sweet discount to the SoJo half marathon since I placed top 3 age group last year. I signed up thinking it would keep me in shape though pregnancy. I didn't get pregnant as soon as I expected, so the time to start training came around and I wasn't sure how to approach the training. Would I get pregnant? Should I push to PR? Did I want a goal or not worry about it? I don't think it is really possible for me to do a race without some sort of a goal, so I decided I wanted to enjoy myself and run the same time or better than last year, a 1:49, and hopefully place top 3 again.

I followed a novice training plan because I wanted a chill training schedule. It was perfect. I was coming off of a break after the Utah Valley Marathon and didn't want to stress over running. I am working on keeping my love for running instead of forcing myself to do it just because. So, this training plan was perfect. I knew going into it I could have done longer runs, tried to be faster, etc., but I was comfortable in my ability and happy with the training experience.

Mom and Dad came up for race weekend, which I was really happy about. The day of the race I got there early for my packet and rode the bus up to the start. I sat next to a middle aged man who had apparently ran a lot in life but had never done a race. We had an enjoyable conversation. After arriving, I spent a fair amount of time stretching and thinking of how to best enjoy the race. It is a small race, but the atmosphere was still exciting.

I went out slow and tried to keep my pace around the 8:20 ish that would be necessary to finish in 1:49. It felt good and I took in the scenery and the sunrise. Literally when I hit 10 miles I couldn't help but think I wish I was done. Not even two minutes after that thought, I saw Mom and Dad up the road ready to cheer me on! It made it easier to keep going. They drove past then parked further up and it filled me with determination and resolve. I got a little adrenaline from seeing them again, but then it was a few more miles of just me and the trail. By now, I was mostly alone with a random runner that I would pass or that would pass me. The trail is probably the flattest part of the course, and there was a slight headwind. It was hard. I walked more in the last two miles than in the whole race (which had just been at aid stations). The feeling of wanting to stop and be done was so strong, the group behind me had taken a wrong turn so I was completely alone, and it was pretty miserable. But I kept going. I saw a lady I had chatted with at packet pickup who ran the 5k and she cheered me on. I imagined my family at the finish and kept pushing through the tiredness and pain. As I was nearing the last turn, my ever ready tears (ever since I had a baby they come so easily!) started to well up because I knew I was near the finish, I knew I had dug deep, and I knew my family was up there. I saw my dad first and it pushed me harder, then I was at the finish, filled with pleasure at my success. Turns out I ran a 1:49, 1st in my age group! Shortly after I crossed I found everyone waiting, and got hugs from Zach, Terran, Dad and Mom. Seriously, it was a good five minutes that we were able to be together and for me to feel their support.

The course is nothing spectacular, but it is pretty, good time of year, and I have now had two years of a good experience so I wouldn't be surprised if I do it again.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Being Happy

I titled this post several weeks ago and haven't yet gotten to writing it. As it is, I have very little free time lately so my blog is getting neglected. I hate getting behind on it so I am going to write the few thoughts I have on this subject to at least remember some of it.

I feel like I have been going through a hard year or two. Somehow I got down on myself a lot and became insecure with my talents and my relationships. I didn't feel that my friendships were genuine and I analyzed what was wrong with me to prevent quality friendships. These kind of thoughts snowball for me and before I knew it I was second guessing myself in several different areas of life. My over-thinking mind dwelled on the subject a lot, and though I contemplated the negative, I also recognized that it wasn't good and I was the one with the power to change it.

I started focusing less on myself and more on caring for others. I focused on my strengths and allowed myself to have weaknesses that didn't have to bring me down. I embraced new experiences to broaden my learning and my hobbies. I highlighted the good in my life. I was blessed with good friendships in my neighborhood that I fostered and appreciated. I was real with those women and we have developed friendships that are real and cherished. I made a conscious effort to focus on the positive things in my life (which are many!). I eliminated some of the social media that I felt brought me down or made me focus on negatives. I have tried to accept that though there is good and bad in the world and in life, the bad doesn't need to bring us down and the good should be highlighted and enjoyed.

Changing my thought processes and trying to eliminate the negative feelings have made a world of difference for me. I no longer worry when I meet new people whether or not they will like me. I like myself and that is what matters. As long as I am a nice and loving person who is trying to be a good and righteous person, if they do not like me, that is really not my problem. I don't second guess everything I say and talk about with people. I realize I make mistakes as a wife and mom, but I try to correct them and improve in my weak areas. I take care of myself and feel pretty that way, even if I do not get around to dressing up everyday. I have found my priorities and I focus on those to make the best life for my family.

It is my hope to maintain this mindset and remain a positive person. Life is really better this way!

Food poisoning

Ugh...instead of the long detailed post I originally planned on doing, I will simply put it on record that I got food poisoning for the first time! As far as I can tell, I got it from a Chick-Fil-A salad, drove to my parents the next day, thoroughly appreciated them caring for my son as I spent several hours between the couch and the bathroom. It was easily the sickest I have ever been in my life and I really hope to never do it again!

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Terran Tidbits

Zach told Terran during their tub that Terran's hugs make him happy. Later that night I saw Terran go give Zach a hug and say "you happy?"
Me: "Want to go to the mountains and ride your bike?"
Terran: "No, I want Poppy to come."
We hadn't even talked about Poppy coming!
I was getting ready to get in the shower and a Terran told me I need to put shorts on. Right when I got out he told me I need to put pants on.
One morning Terran was about ready to wake up and started saying "pillow, pillow" and as soon as I moved it under his head he said "better" and fell back asleep.
Terran has started saying "Yes Sir" to me. I wasn't sure if it was yes, sure or yes, sir, but once I laughed and thought it was sir, he hasn't stopped. :)
"Ever" is a new word in Terran's vocabulary. He now says "I'm not going to eat that ever!" And other similar things. Why can't I describe in words how funny it is?!
Terran constantly wants to play with his friends and he has started dropping his head when we are going to do something else and pouting "I want to play with my friends. My friends!" All exasperated like. It actually makes me feel really bad!
Terran learned negotiating skills from his friend Daylyce. She always asks her mom if she can play at our house for 3 more minutes, and she usually gets to. So Terran started negotiating with Bridger's mom when she would come pick him up to go home. He would say "one more minute" but quickly has learned three is more than one so now he always asks for 3 more minutes, whether with friends or before bed.
Terran's legs hurt the morning after Halloween (I think from all his running around trick or treating!) and after he told me they hurt he said "hold on" and ran to the living room, got my stick, and told me he needed to roll out his legs!
I got Terran to try dipping his fries in his frosty. He never eats sauces on anything so I didn't think it was possible but he thought it was good!


We got season passes to Cornbelly's this year, which provided us with several days worth of fun fall activities!

Monday, October 12, 2015

Visiting the Whittaker's in Idaho

For a few years, Zach and Chase, old mission companions and friends ever since, have talked about us going to to visit them at their ranch in the summer. Chase married Megan two weeks after we got married and we were able to go to their wedding and see them a few times since. Zach and Chase keep in touch pretty well so even though it has been about 5 years since we had seen them, we still had kept up on what was going on. We finally scheduled a time to go stay with them. It was such a great trip and we felt so close with Chase and Megan and Kase and Whitley after our time there. Good friends that you just get along with don't come around everyday and we were grateful for our time there.

With Cowboy Dad after his first morning moving cows.

The kids riding bikes in the front yard.

Climbing on the big trucks.
We drove through a ghost town clear up into the mountains to a hidden lake for a bbq. It was windy and cold, but such a cool experience since there was history and mystery to the whole thing.

We spent a lot of time moving cows and hanging around the main ranch house. We even had lunch (what they call dinner) with all the ranch hands. Terran loved his first real horse ride and was squealing with excitement and telling me to go faster the entire ride.

We went to Salmon one night for dinner and got the only picture of all of us together from the whole trip!

On our last day, we took a detour to see Bear World in Rexburg. I wondered if it would be worth our time, especially as it was going to interfere with Terran's nap, but it was actually really cool and there were even really fun rides that Terran loved!

The only time I think I will ride on one of these spinning rides. They make me SO sick, but how could I say no?