Yep, in June! If you read my blog you are among the lucky few who now know! I have let a few of my neighbors and friends that I see day to day know because they ask or I am feeling rotten enough that I need an excuse! I have been very surprised by the affects from the miscarriage. Although I feel like I dealt with the miscarriage really well, I didn't realize that the next time I got pregnant there would be a constant worry that there won't be a heartbeat or that I would lose this baby too. I have been itching to tell the whole family, but I keep deciding to wait until my appointment next week just to be sure that everything is okay. I had an early appointment right at 6 weeks to just check on everything before the SoJo half marathon. It was so early that there wasn't much to see, but the doctor thought he saw a flicker indicating a heartbeat and reaffirmed that I was good to continue running and it wouldn't hurt the baby. So, I have been waiting for my appointment just after 9 weeks to actually see the heartbeat and let my loved ones know!
Interestingly enough, it was September of last year when we thought we were ready to have another baby. With the miscarriage, Zach travels, and several months of trying it was a year later than we had originally thought. The interesting thing about all of that is as I am pregnant now, it is exactly the timing that I think will be perfect for our family. It reminds me that God sees the big picture and ultimately His plan is the best for us. Although we may have been ready a year ago, I believe that the timing of this baby is even better. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time with Terran and learning more about him as an individual and about myself as a mother. I have been able to invest more in my relationship with Zach and discover more about myself as a person. I have fine tuned my priorities and spent time in new hobbies, as well as rekindled love for old hobbies. I have learned much and grown much and although adding another child can make me nervous some days, I feel like I am armed with more knowledge to make the transition smoothly.
Now, on to the discovery. For about four or five months I had been hoping to be pregnant each time. I had pregnancy tests ready and kept getting negatives. There were a few times those negatives were great disappointments, times where I expected it, and times where I accepted that it was how it was meant to be. This time I thought it was pretty likely I was pregnant, but I tried not to get to caught up in the thought so the disappointment wouldn't be as strong if I wasn't. I had a mental lists of the reasons it would be okay not to be pregnant. But as the days to test go closer, I had a hunch. One day I couldn't wait any longer and just went to take a test while Zach and Terran were playing. I waited until I saw the faint line, then with excitement and glee, I brought it out to the living room. A small giggle escaped my mouth as I walked through the hallway. Zach knew something was up. Again, as with Terran, I told him with a tiny bit of skepticism since the line on the 88 cent test was quite faint. He didn't seem to believe it, but I couldn't let my surety go. The next day he asked if I was going to get another test. I decided to so that he could be sure and as excited as me. So I got one (a more expensive one) the day after that, took it, got another faint line, but a line nonetheless. I showed him and he said "It didn't show me anything I didn't know." He acted like he believed me from the beginning! But at least now I could be excited a jabber about it and it was real! My due date is June 5th and it has been long enough that it all feels new and increases my excitement!